Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Stupid Catholic Tricks, March '05 Edition

Friends & neighbors, children of all ages -- only the 22nd of the month, and already we have TWO contenders!

In this corner . . .
Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone. Who, two years after its release, has suddenly decided to "warn" us against Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code."

His Eminence's objections? The book "aims to discredit the Church and its history through gross and absurd manipulations." And, "I think I have the responsibility to clear things up to unmask the cheap lies."

Manipulations? Lies? It's a NOVEL, fer-cryin'-out-loud!!!!
Repeat after me, Bertie: Novels are fiction. Fiction, by definition, is MADE UP!!!!!!!!!!! (You understand 'made up,' Bertie; that's like the hierarchy's early statements on the pedophilia scandal.) If it were all true, IT WOULDN'T BE A NOVEL!!!

But, wait, folks, it gets worse!
Cardinal Bertone is widely touted as being among the papabile, the potential successors to the papacy.

Angels and ministers of grace, defend us!

And in this corner. . .
(thanks to Third Base Line for this nomination)
Bishop Robert Brom, of San Diego. Bishop Brom refused a Catholic funeral Mass to John McCusker, who died at the horribly young age of 31 from congestive heart failure. Mr. McCusker's funeral services were held at an Episcopal church.

And the crime for which he was denied the Mass?

He owned a bar and dance club popular with gays. (He was gay himself, but the His Excellency's stated reason for cancelling the funeral service was "the clash between McCusker's business activities and the church's moral teachings).

Now, mind you, John Geoghan received a full funeral Mass. John Geoghan, who dishonored the word "human," who disgraced the priesthood, who committed assault & battery upon the Church that supported him most of his life, who attempted to destroy numerous young lives -- John Geoghan, pedophile 'priest,' had a funeral Mass.

John McCusker, small business owner, did not.

Kyrie Eleison.

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